22 - Thank You for...Loving Me

With the palm of his hand Jon pushed and held open the door to their hotel suite for her, letting it close behind them and flipping the deadbolt. 

She should probably thank him, but it didn’t occur to her.  Ever since burying Lilli, Ari had been wrapped in a melancholy as tangible as the blanket Jon wrapped her in.  She shrugged out of that blanket and tossed it onto the couch when walking by.  The chill she had wasn’t going to be chased away by a blanket.  It would take something stronger than that – something that would warm her from the inside out. 

As he tossed his room key on the desk, she drifted over to the bar on the wall and reached for a glass.  It subtly scraped the marbled surface when she parked it there withdraw a bottle from the mini fridge.  A bump of her knee had the door shut, and she mindlessly worked the cork free to splash last night’s leftover wine into crystal. 

“Would you like some?” 

The words were the first she’d spoken since leaving Petit Soho, but he didn’t mention it or the scratchiness of her voice.  He only kicked his discarded shoes under the coffee table and gave a simple, “Sure.”

Jon sank into one of the oversized leather chairs, popping socked feet onto the matching black ottoman.  A gentle pat of his lap while she poured his drink invited Ari to join him.  The fact that he wasn’t forcing a conversation made her all the more eager to seek his closeness, and she grabbed their wine.

Silent footsteps sank into the carpet as she crossed the suite to join him and passed over one of the glasses.  Kicking her shoes next to his, Ari slid into openly inviting arms and climbed into a welcoming lap, nestling close. 

The wine might help warm her, but wine and Jon might manage to thaw the block of ice in her chest.  She certainly wanted to give it a try, and the wine gradually disappeared from both glasses as a soothing hand caressed the length of her back.  

“I love you.”

His gentle declaration broke the silence and curved her lips with melancholy. 

“I know,” Ariana murmured.  “And I love you, too.”

“It will get easier. A little bit every day. I promise.”

She sighed, “Yeah.”

“You hungry, baby? We haven’t eaten anything since breakfast.”

“A little. But what I’d really like is to take a hot bath.” She sat up and drained her glass.

“Why don’t you go start, and I’ll order us something? Is there anything special you’d like? Name it.” He grinned sheepishly, “I’ll even let you have that...that yuck you like to eat.”

She smiled for the first time since getting that call from the funeral home.  “Hey, that yuck is good. But order what you want.  I’ll be fine with anything.”

“S’okay.” He gave her a soft tap on the ass as a signal to get up and stood along with her. “I’ll be there in a minute to wash your back.”

His hands flanked her shoulders, and Jon used the light grip to turn Ari in the direction of the ensuite before giving her a little nudge.   

What had sounded good while sitting in his lap now sounded like a monumental task, but she determinedly trudged toward the bathroom.  Each step was a little more lethargic than the last, and just before she turned out of sight, she paused to glance back.   

Cerulean blue eyes and a smile that melted her heart were both fixed on her, and Ariana expressed silent gratitude for his presence.   As difficult as this was, it would be even harder without him here.

He flicked his wrist in a gesture for her to go on… and she did.

Jon knew this was hard, but he had every confidence that she’d get through it.  Time was the greatest healer.  It sucked that he couldn’t speed it up, though.  The helplessness was killing him, but as he finished placing their order, an idea came to mind. 

After a quick call to the concierge, he refilled their glasses and took them to see how the bath was going.

“Did you save me...” he began but stopped.  She was sitting on the floor with knees curled into her chest, rocking back and forth.  The tears hadn’t fallen, but they were pooled in the eyes that blinked tragically up at him. 

Hurriedly placing the glasses on the vanity, he knelt front of her.

“Aw, baby…. C’mere.” He pulled her into his lap with a shushing whisper into her hair as he now rocked them both.  Desperate fingers fisted into his collar, and she buried her face into his shirt like a little child.

He knew the thoughts and memories were overwhelming inside that head of hers, and Ariana wasn’t the kind to talk about them.  Trying to force her to do so would only make it worse.  What his beautiful girl needed was a distraction. 

When he tried to move her, she clenched tighter.

“Ari, I’m not going anywhere. I just want you to stand up for a minute. Can you do that for me?”

She whimpered pitifully but obeyed and stood. 

He was slower to rise.  

His hands ventured under her dark t-shirt, inciting a gasp as they slid up the smooth expanse of her stomach.   A soft kiss dusted her hip as Jon scrunched up the thin material of the shirt, and she raised her arms.

Finally standing to his feet, he finished tugging it off and dropping it to the floor.  He brushed a kiss over the corner of her mouth as his hands circled around her back for the bra clasp there.

Somehow, just breathing his air calmed Ariana. 

She relaxed further as he released her breasts from the confines of their cups.  The sniffling hitches had stopped, and gentle fingers went to the button on her denim shorts.

The shorts themselves brought back memories. She’d owned them for years and they were soft to the touch after many washes. He fingered her waistband, beginning to guide the shorts down her toned thighs. Jon pushed them to her knees and they fell of their own accord from there.

“Step,” he ordered gently.

She braced unsteady hands upon his broad shoulders, and her nose brushed against his neck when she looked down to see his big hands covering black lace boyshort-clad hips. 

He could’ve prolonged the process, trying to turn this into seduction, but that wasn’t what Jon had on his mind.  The panties were swept off quickly, but with care.  She covered her bare abdomen as Jon bent to restart the water in the half-filled tub and added a few drops of bath oils before testing the temperature. 

“Gimme your hand?” he requested.  She placed her fingers in his extended palm, lifting first one foot and then the other into the tub.  A soft whispered kiss tickled her fingers before he helped guide her to sit.

The heat of the water and the warmth of his touch caused her cold, bare body to shiver. 

He dipped the soft cotton washcloth into the water to lather and withdraw it.  Part of the water was squeezed before she felt the heat of it at her nape, and then he gave another squeeze.  Rivulets trickled down both her back and front, melting away part of the goosebumps. 

The motion was repeated twice more, and when her body had begun to thaw… then he lovingly began to bathe her. 

Neither ever spoke. There was no need to; his tenderness said it all.

When the last bit of soap was rinsed away, he pulled the clip from her hair to release a cascade of chocolate curls onto her shoulders.  Coaxing her head to tilt back, he reached for the removable showerhead and adjusted the setting so the spray was soft.

Liquid fingers wound their way through thick strands, wetting them thoroughly. The water-heavy curls plastered themselves to her back and Jon turned the spray off. 

A hint of sweet-smelling flowers came with the shampoo he dolloped into his hand, and grew more fragrant as he gently worked it into her hair. 

Jon slathered the suds on the top strands, lifting the heavy mass to smooth more on the underside. Strong fingers delved in, working up a lather from the root to end of every lock. He scratched and massaged her scalp before his fingertips smoothed the tendrils at her hairline and pushed them back into a uniform mass with the rest of her hair.

Jon’s agile fingers firmly caressed Ari’s temples, pressing and rubbing with the perfect amount of pressure.  The soothing touch melted her, and any lingering pain vanished under his steady ministrations.

Ari was nearly hypnotized by the repetitive motion when the showerhead returned.  The spiny needles of water roused her, but massaged her scalp much as Jon had done.

She purred with contentment, and he smiled.

Making sure all traces of shampoo were gone, he wrung most of the moisture out before picking up a different bottle.  Another dime-sized dollop was squeezed onto his hand, this time of conditioner, and then worked into her hair.

Ari rested her head contentedly on the rim of the tub and gave him a lethargic smile.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“For what?”

“For this.” She gestured at the tub. “For being here and letting me lean on you.”

“Crash, we’ve been over this.”

“I know. It’s just.... You always seem to be around to pick up the pieces. You were there when Sal died. You sat with me, never leaving my side.  When he took his last breath, and I didn’t want to go on, you showed me how. Somehow you manage to always take away my sadness.”

“Baby, don’t you see you’ve done the same for me?” He brushed away a droplet of water from her face.

“How?”

“You were there when life on the road got crazy. When every day – every minute – seemed like hell. You helped me see past all the bullshit in the beginning. You understood my vision, and when the walls started to close in….  You didn’t let me give up, either.”

“I was just a snotty little brat who came to work with her dad. And even then, it was you who opened my eyes and told me I could do a better job than half the men on the crew.”

“Yeah, well that snotty little brat never took any of my shit.  She would always put me in my place when I needed it,” he recalled with affection and stood to grab one of the oversized fluffy towels from the hook.

She braced her hands on the tub and stood.

“Well, no matter what it was or when it was – even when I couldn’t give you what you wanted – you stood your ground and always came back.” She let him help her step over the rim and stepped into the towel he offered. “I mean it Jon. I don’t think I ever said it enough, so I’m saying it now. Thank you.... for loving me.”

Jon pulled on the towel to draw her near, their foreheads touching. 

“Even when you weren’t there, you were. You always came back even though I couldn’t give you what you really wanted. You never had to tell me, Ari, you showed me just by being there – being you and never once asking for anything.  I knew.  So, I thank you.”