93 - Weight Of The World

From the moment Max dropped her back home, she’d been sitting in the middle of her bed doing something she never thought in a million years she’d be doing; googling her name. She’d hit the refresh button about a hundred times before her finger started to hurt. So, she set up alert notifications on both her phone and computer.

Luckily, her search only produced one photo so far of her and Cara inside the restaurant, having lunch. She just hoped no one had seen them come out of the baby store. It was probably just a fluke that they were outside the restaurant in the first place. It was a popular spot for some of the well-known from time to time.

 

Jon, on the other hand, wasn’t so lucky. In her search, she stumbled upon a bunch of images from his press conference. There were quite a few of him standing arms clenched across his chest. From the expression on his face, he was not happy at all. The sound bites she found all but confirmed it. 

 

She could hear that Jon was clearly agitated, but he kept his temper under control right up till then end, when the questions about their relationship started. She couldn't believe the audacity of some. How they kept pushing and pushing after Jon had finished what he needed to say. Overall, she thought it went well. Her only concern was how fast and how much they knew about her already. She would address it with Jon when he called.

 

Grabbing her phone, she scooted off the bed for her umpteenth bathroom trip since she been home. As her bare feet hit the chilled wood, she felt the room spin and caught the bedpost with her hand.

 

Whoa. I must have gotten up too fast, or maybe I need to eat something.

 

When she regained her balance, Ariana padded off to her new home, away from home, to take care of business. Setting her phone down on the vanity, she noticed the dark circles forming under her eyes in the mirror. Sleep had not come easily for her these past weeks, and it was starting to show. 

 

The sound of Frank Sinatra’s voice filled the air as she pulled down her bottoms and lowered herself onto the seat.

 

Tapping the speaker button, she called out, "Hey, hold on a second."

 

“S’okay.” the echo of her voice and the sound of a steady stream of water spattering could be heard as he waited, "Where are you?"

 

“The bathroom. I had to pee, a-gain." She told him and reached for some toilet paper.

 

“This is not the sexy time I had in mind.”

 

“Oh, hush and..." Her voice slowly faded till there was none.

 

"Are you still there?"

 

"Um... yeah.” She answered, but clearly, she was distracted.

 

"Ari. What are you doing?"

 

"Gimme a second, Jon, there's blood."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"On the toilet paper. There's blood!" her tone was slightly panicked.

 

"A lot?" His question was a reasonable one.

 

"Does it matter?" She barked.

 

"Yes. Don't you remember the doctor telling us about that? Dorothea had some with Jesse."

 

"I'm not your wife!"

 

Ariana tried to keep her composure and recall her conversation with Dr. Barnes.

 

"I didn't say you were. All I'm saying..." He changed his mind and went with trying to assess the situation. Is there any in the toilet? What color is it? How much is there?"

 

"Really, Jon? What fucking color do you think it is and there is enough to cover the wad of paper I used to wipe my pussy with..." Ari took in an exasperated breath, "I'm afraid to look at the water."

 

"Ari, you've got to calm down. It's not good for you or the baby."

 

"Calm down? I can't do that! I knew something like this would happen. Why? Why did I allow myself to believe this could actually happen?"

 

"God dammit Crash. I'm trying to help you but can't if you don't tell me what you see. Look at the water, would you?"

 

He wasn’t trying to be a dick, he just needed her to think he was so she would do what he said. 

 

"Fine!"

 

Jolting up quickly, she felt a sudden dizzy feeling overcome her again. The light spots before her started spinning as she felt herself lean forward. All she heard before falling to the floor was Jon calling out her name from the tiny phone speaker.

 

♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱

 

If ever there was a joyous part of being in the hospital, the maternity ward was supposed to be the place. Yet it wasn’t. He was at St-Luc Hospital, trying to focus on the positives as he watched her resting peacefully in an oversized bed. The beeping sound from both heart monitors echoed and consumed the sterilized room. Every steady noise they emitted pounded at his skull.

 

Taking a deep breath, his blue eyes scanned the room again, noting the frayed edges of her hospital gown and sheets, and at the variety of machines and equipment that were hooked up to her. Even though he knew she was only sleeping, he wanted to wake her just to make sure.

 

Hunching over, he felt the cracking of muscle ripple along his spine. No doubt it had come from sitting on one of those uncomfortable plastic chairs. He let his finger trace soft circles across her abdomen as he rested his head in her lap. Her chocolate curls covered the square gauze bandage she wore just above her right eye. Underneath it was the eight stitches she received from hitting her head on the corner of the vanity. He could see a hint of the yellow and purple bruise forming, along with the dark circles she had under her eyes.  

 

Listening as she called out for him and subsequently passing out, was unbearable and the sense of helplessness that crept over him when she hadn’t answered his calls had him grabbing his house phone and immediately dialing Cara.

 

Informing her what had happened, she immediately hung up and called 911, then called him back as she rushed across the street. Making her way up the backstairs, Cara found Ariana unconscious on the bathroom floor, with a steady stream of blood trickling down her cheek. 

 

Jon listened as Cara tried to wake her, but she was unresponsive. He knew his barking question after question wasn’t helping the situation while they waited for the paramedics to arrive, but Cara continued to reassure him that Ari was indeed breathing, and that the blood in the toilet was minimal and from what she could tell she wasn't bleeding anywhere other than from the gash on her head.

When the paramedics arrived, they couldn’t give him any more information other than Ariana had a sizeable gash over her right eye that would require some stitches. Her vitals were good, except for her slightly elevated blood pressure. Jon informed them what had happened, adding that she was almost eleven weeks pregnant and at her last doctor's visit, her pressure was a little high.

 

While the paramedics worked on Ari, Cara reiterated everything they were doing. Jon’s car had arrived, just as they were ready to put her in the ambulance. Cara reassured him once again that everything would be fine, and she would not leave her side. She told him even though it was hard; he needed to be calm. Stressing for the next two hours would not do him any good. He told her he wanted updates every thirty minutes no matter what, and she was to send them via text, email, voice mail or any other way she could think of. Just before hanging up, he asked Cara to put the phone next to Ari’s ear. When she told him to go ahead, Jon whispered.

 

“I love you, Crash. I’m on my way.”

 

Once in the car, Jon called the one person he knew that could somewhat calm him and who would handle the list of things he couldn’t right now. His mother.

 

When Carol heard the frenzied tone of his voice, she did what any other mother would do. She spoke calmly, reassuring him that Ariana was in the best possible hands. She explained to him that the staining was common, and that Ariana probably gave herself a good knock on the head that knocked her unconscious. Carol explained to him that Ariana’s dizziness could have been from a long list of things and worrying and speculating about each and every one of them now would serve no purpose.  

 

She offered to go with him if he wanted; he said no, but he asked her to make some calls, since Jeanie was halfway across the world on vacation, and he didn’t want to disturb her. The first call he needed her to make was to Dorothea. Jon asked his mother to tell her that Ari had a minor accident, and he would call as soon as he could.

 

A call from Cara had come through and Carol told him to take it. She knew what she needed to do. He thanked her and promised to call as soon as he knew more. He was relieved when Cara told him that Ari had opened her eyes for a moment just as they arrived at the hospital. The doctors were in with her now and once she was allowed back in, she would call him.

 

Arriving at the airport, Jon didn’t want to waste any more time waiting, so he sent Cara a text that he would take off soon and that she should use the other means of communications. Over the course of the two-hour flight, she had sent him a few updates that simply stated there was no additional news and they were running a battery of tests.

 

Once he arrived at St-Luc’s, Jon flew out of the car and into the elevator, stopping only once to ask a nurse which way to room 3474. Cara had been waiting outside the door for him. She wanted to make sure he would not go in there frantically. She told him they had given Ari something to help settle her nerves, and that she was sleeping.  

 

When a nurse from the next room appeared, Jon asked if she could answer some questions about Ari’s tests. She told him that Dr. Laurent was on his way and would be with them shortly. Knowing that he wanted to see her, Cara gave him a hug and told him she would be in the cafeteria if he needed her.

 

Now here he was, waiting desperately for her to wake up and for some answers. Taking her hand in his, he looked up at her sleeping face before letting the heaviness of his lids force his eyes to close.