Jon moved his head and kissed her temple lightly; her sobs had calmed, but her tears still fell like a waterfall. When he felt her fingers loosen, he cupped her cheeks and, with the pads of his thumbs, he gently wiped away her tears.
“Did I miss something? What is all this about?"
“Please.” she pleaded. “Just say yes.”
“Crash, you know I’ll marry you.”
“Say it,” she urged him. “I need to hear it.”
“Yes.” His lips whispered softly over hers.
When her tears stopped, she felt him disengage himself from her grip just enough to take her hand in his as he led them over to the couch. Ariana sat first, tucking her leg under herself, then Jon, his eyes never leaving hers.
“You wanna tell me what’s going on here?”
Ari closed her eyes and exhaled. Not able to look at him when she opened them, she played with the laced hem of the tights she was wearing. “I’ve been having nightmares.’’
Jon fought the urge to demand her to answer. From past history, he knew when she was like this, she would only shut down and close him off. Instead, he nudged her chin lightly, so her face looked at him. Her emerald green eyes were fraught with sadness and worry.
“I’m listening.”
“They started the night Dorothea, and I fought. Nothing serious, dreams first, me going into labor, on the plane, a different country or backstage somewhere.” His brow furrowed. “I know. Then they became a little more intense. I was in a hospital, you by my side. But I’d always wake up just as Lily was born.”
“Okay. So far, what you're telling me sounds normal.” He brushed her hair out of her face, tucking a curl behind her ear.
“Yes.” her hands trembled. “Then the bad ones started. I’d wake up in the middle of the night gasping for air and sweating. We’d be in the delivery room and as soon as Dr. Barnes put Lily in my arms, things got chaotic. It’d be like I was having an out-of-body experience watching things happen before my eyes. Doctors and nurses everywhere, the baby crying, you screaming out my name.” Her breath hitched, “blood everywhere...”
He went to reach for her. “No!” She put up a hand to stop him. “I need to finish now, or I won’t be able to.” Taking a deep breath in, she let it out just like she had learned and continued. “I died. Just like my mother. Leaving my poor innocent child, motherless.”
“Oh, Ariana…” Jon took both her hands in his and squeezed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Wait, there’s more.” A single tear slipped from her eye. “Last night was the worst. Lily was about two, maybe three, and the both of you were sitting on the lounge under my tree. You were telling her how much I loved and wanted her and how I would always be with her. In her heart and in the stars. There was a woman standing off to the side. She called to you, telling you to hurry or you'll be late. She was wearing a weddings dress.”
“Come here.” His arms wrapped around her slight frame and scooped her up into his lap. “I’m not gonna pretend I’m happy that this is the first time I’m hearing about this. You should have told me right away. And I won’t sit here and tell you it will not happen, because I can’t. Do I think it will? No. Could it? Possibly. Did you tell Dr. Barnes about the dreams?” She nodded yes. “Now, as for this woman in a wedding dress… THAT I can wholehearted tell you it will nothappen. I love you. It took us a lifetime to get here, and there is no one else I want. Not now or ever.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I knew it would only make you worry and that you’d want me to join you. After I had the first one, I went to see Dr. Barnes. She called them anxiety attacks, and that they were common. She suggested yoga or meditation classes. They don’t help.” The back of her knuckle brushed his cheek. “I need you. I need this.”
“You have me.” He leaned forward and brushed softly over her mouth with his.
Ariana managed a small smile as she nuzzled her nose with his before climbing off of his lap. Reluctantly, she walked towards the grand desk to retrieve the stack of papers, then returned to him. Sinking into the couch, she watched his face skim briefly over each one.
“What are these?” It was a rhetorical question. Glancing at them he knew what they were.
“My will. The deeds to my house and Petit Soho and a marriage license.” She turned and faced him. “I was serious, Jon. I want us to get married.”
“What about your dream of getting married at our little place in Italy, with friends and family,” he placed their joined hands on her belly “and Lily?”
“I still want all of that… but I need this. I can’t leave things unsettled or unanswered for Lily. All this is for her...” one brow arched, “... and for me.”
He sighed. “Just tell me when and where.”
Ari smirked as she slid into his lap, straddling his legs. “We’re getting married?”
“Yes. Ms. Moretti, I’ll marry you.”
“Thank you.” She bumped her forehead against his. “I have one more request.”
“Name it.”
“Save me, baby.”
He led her into the bedroom and to the edge of the bed. As his eyes devoured hers, his hands moved under the hem of her sweater, pulling it over her head. “You are,” he ran his tongue down the slope of her neck, “the most,” he unclasped her bra, allowing the straps to fall off her shoulders. “Self-sacrificing… self-denying… compassionate woman I have ever known.” Jon punctuated each word with a kiss; at the base of her neck, the curve of her shoulder, and the last one on her lips.
Fisting her hands in his hair, Ariana deepened the kiss. Tongues tangled together, the scent of wine on his breath passing between them, hands and lips exploring. They kissed like that for a long time until Ari pulled away. Stepping back, she reached for the elastic band of her pants and dragged them down her hips as Jon watched her. Tossing the garment aside, she reached for him and undid the button and zipper from his jeans.
“I need” her fingers brushed over his skin “to feel you.” she whispered into the crook of his neck.
His breath hitched as he felt the back of his knees hit the mattress. Inching backward onto the bed, Jon sat himself in the middle of the bed against the headboard. Motioning for her to sit on his lap, she straddled him once again. Using the wall behind them as leverage, she positioned herself as close as she could. When the tip of his head met her entrance, Jon placed his hands on her hips and slowly guided her down his shaft, allowing her to take as much of him as she could.
“Home.” she moaned.
Lust and wantful eyes watched as she rode him, squeezing her eyes shut, trying to erase her fears. “Crash, open your eyes.’’ he whispered and pulled her in for a kiss. She moaned into his mouth with her eyes still shut. Afraid that if she opened them, this would all be a dream, too.
Moving his hand up her body, he cupped her breast, kneading it as calloused fingers gently pinched her nipple. Her mewls grew louder, but her eyes remained closed. With his free hand, he cupped her face and nipped along her jawline to that sensitive spot behind her ear. Running his tongue over the small droplets of sweat, he blew out a slow, cool breath to coax them open. “You’re safe. I promise.”
As her breaths grew shallow and rapid, he could feel her body tensing around him as she ground her hips harder against him. They were both close, but he needed her to open her eyes. He needed her to see that he was right here with her.
The hand that had been caressing her breast moved to cup her face. Achingly aware she was still afraid, he kissed her, his lips tender yet firm. It was a different kiss; this one was slower, more tender. Savoring each other, he slipped his tongue into her mouth and he deepened the kiss until he owned her.
“It’s just me.” he whispered into her mouth.
Three simple words were all it took for her eyes to open. The sadness and fear from before replaced with love and desire. Thrusting up, he felt the surge of his climax hit as he shot his seed deep inside her, taking her over the edge with him.
Placing a small, chaste kiss on his lips, Ari smiled. “Thank you.’’
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