165 - Miss You

 

May 28, 2010 - Italy 

 

Sleep had not come easily for her these past few days. Not since Matt and Tony called her to plead their case and have her take mercy on them. Jon’s pouting and moods had hit an all-time high, and they were begging her to do something. She flat out refused. Jon dug his grave and it would be him to get out. Plus, she was having a hard time believing all of what they were saying. When they finally acknowledged their defeat, Tony threw a boomerang at her.  

 

They were filming the shows for a future project, so he set it up so she could watch live and sent her a link to the stream. The first two nights it was her turn to wear the stubborn hat, and she refused to watch. She didn’t need to see him up on stage shaking his ass, having a good time while she was stuck here doing absolutely nothing. But all that got her was a lot of tossing and turning. 

 

The good news was that she received the all clear from the doctor who had handled her case in the hospital and could now travel. Limitedly, that was, and only if Dr. Cummings accompanied her, which sorta worked out. The next stop on the trip was London for a month’s gig at the O2 before heading stateside.  

 

The big question was, did she want to go to? She and Jon hadn’t communicated verbally yet. Sure, he texted regularly, but had yet to show one ounce of remorse. However, she started answering him. Nothing too extensive, short and sweet answers concerning her and Lily’s welfare, mostly. That's about all he deserved. Now, with Jon scheduled to arrive sometime tomorrow, she did not know what was going to happen. 

 

What she needed was some time to think. Preferably alone. So, after much negotiating, she finally convinced Carol and Nicole to take advantage of what could be their last day/night in this beautiful city and go out and enjoy it. They were only a short distance from Rome, and Nicole had never been. After setting up everything they needed, Ariana assured them that if there was a problem, Carmela was just across the way. As much as she loved Carol and enjoyed having the good doc around, she really needed some time to sort things out. 

 

It was almost dinner by the time they left, so Ariana made her way over to her usual table just outside. Watching the evening sun, she thought about the past few days. Of all the shows to miss, these were not the ones. They had talked over and over about them and just how much they meant. Not just for band, but for both of them. Ariana could remember how honored Jon felt when he received the phone call asking if the band would do the honors and christen the new stadium. Granted, he was one of New Jersey’s prodigal sons, but there were others who came before him, ones who, in the critics’ eyes, held in much higher esteem.  

 

Make no mistake, New Jersey loved Bon Jovi. She’d witnessed that up close more than once. Few bands could fill a stadium that big in their hometown and feel the love exude from the audience. It saddened her not being there for him. Even though at the moment he was still acting like an ass, he was her ass and she loved him.

 

No dwelling on what couldn't be. You had no control over this situation. He knows you would be right by his side if you could.

 

“Whassmatta? Why you looka so sad?” Carmela set down the martini glass in front of Ariana and took a seat.

“Non e niente.”  

 

Lifting the spoon, Ariana slid it through the frothy contents. It amazed her how this woman they met all those years ago knew what she needed and when. They had only spent a short time there, and she was one reason she wanted to come back. This little hole in the wall connected them in so many ways. Carmela’s zabaglione was an extra bonus. After another mouthful, she set the spoon down.  

 

“Just missing home.”

 

“La casa é dove il cuore é.” (Home is where your heart is)

 

“Si. And mine is in New Jersey.”

 

“Youa love him? No?”

 

“With all my heart.”

 

Carmela patted her hand, “Thena he will capisce.”

 

“I don’t know about that.”

 

“Youa tella him. Tella him every chance youa get.” Rising from the chair, Carmela smiled down at Ariana. “Non aspettare per tempo perché, il tempo solito vi aspetta.”

 

Don’t wait for time, time won’t wait for you.

 

Ariana fought back the tears she felt welling up in her eyes. Lili would say those exact words to her every time she’d return home from a job. Collecting her things, she kissed the wise woman and walked the few quick steps to the place she'd called home. She knew Jon knew just how much she loved him. But over the last few days, she wasn’t sure what to think. Who says those things to someone you love? His words hurt. Of all people, did he really think she would jeopardize their baby? The baby she longed for, for so long, but was afraid to have... still afraid to have.  

 

The more she thought about it, she couldn't help but wonder if maybe she was being too hard on him? He obviously had been drinking and she, of all people, should know what that was like. She had years of experience with that. Boy, they were some pair. All this fucked-up-ery. Maybe that’s why they’d been able to withstand all these years together. Who knows? One thing she knew for sure, Carmela's words were Lili's way of letting her know she was once again watching over her and that she just needed a little kick in the ass.

 

♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱

 

Mary 29, 2019

East Rutherford, NJ: New Meadowlands Stadium

Show # 38

 

“Okay numb nuts. Here’s your last chance. Don’t go blowin’ it.” Tony pushed opened the door to Jon’s dressing room. Yellow balls of paper scattered the floor around his brother as he sat hunched over in the oversized chair.

 

“Do you mind?” Jon asked, never taking his eyes off of what he was doing.

 

“Setlist troubles, I see. Maybe I can help?”

 

“Yeah.” Another paper tore off and crumbled into a ball. “What the fuck would you know about setlist?”

 

“I know that your beautiful, pregnant wife will watch the show tonight.”

 

Tony’s words caught his attention. Throwing his pen down on the table, Jon sat back in the chair. 

 

“What?”  

 

“You heard me. Ari will be watching.”

 

“Pray tell, how do you know this?”

 

“The genius of the family,” Tony proudly jabbed himself with his thumb, “has set up a live stream strictly for her eyes only. Actually, she’s had one for the last two nights, but tonight is your lucky break. She’ll be watching.”

 

“And you know this how, exactly?”

 

“She texted me.” Jon’s mouth opened, but he was quickly shot down by Tony’s big hand in his face. “I don’t wanna hear it. So what? I’ve been talking with Ari. Don’t like it? Tough shit. You had no right threatening her about talking to me. I’m family, for Christ’s sake, and if you intend on ever getting laid again, you better wake the fuck up.”

 

“C’mon. Did you really think I would follow through?”

 

“No. But that’s not the point. Jon, you don’t treat your wife like she’s one of your fuckin’ employees.”

 

“Trust me, I get that now. I’ve been trying to fix what I’ve done for days. She won’t talk to me.”

 

“I know. That’s why my plan is brilliant. Show her.”

 

“Come again?”

 

“Jon, what attracted you to Ari all those years ago?”  

 

Jon’s face lit up and a huge grin crossed his face. “Not that, asshole. Music. Any time you had a riff over the years you spent apart, it’s the one thing I remember that help both of you work through it.” 

 

“Tony, my boy, I could just kiss you.” Jon jumped from the chair. “But I won’t. Now get outta here. I have a setlist to write.”

 

“Paint a picture, my dear brother. It’s what you’re good at.”

 

Shooing his brother out the door, Jon locked it. This was going to take some thinking, and he didn’t want to be disturbed. He had to admit it, Tony was right, music had always been a strong point in their life. Whether it was songs that were specifically written for her or with her in mind or the ones that had just become their songs. With tonight’s setlist, he would do the best he could to remind her. But first, he needed to do one thing.

 

♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱

 

May 30, 2010
Italy

 

The buzzing of the alarm clock had her sitting up and slamming it off. She’d just about lost her mind for getting up at this hour to watch a concert she was not working. But Tony promised it would be well worth it. Before going to sleep for a bit, she had set everything up and laid it on the bed next to her. Since she looked like the Pillsbury doughboy’s sister, she has been resigned to sleeping in one spot.  

 

Awakening her laptop, she could tell that the stream was live and that the show would start soon. Checking her phone one last time to see if Tony had left her any other instructions, she noticed she had a new text from Jon. It must’ve come through right after she’d fallen asleep. Tapping, it revealed a rather lengthy text. Well, lengthy for Jon, that was.

 

10:00pm [Jon]: Crash, I fuckin miss us. I know the last few days have been shitty for you. I fucked up and for that I’m sorry. My actions were unacceptable. I know, I will say those two words for a very long time and I’m okay with that. As long as you know, I never meant a single word. Tony told me you'd be watching tonight. You know how much I like it when you watch. ;) Do me a favor, don’t just watch or listen. There aren’t enough hours in one show to sing every song I want for you. So, pay careful attention. Everything I do, I do for you. You are my air, you and me. I love you.  

 

me

xox 

 

Ari brushed away her tears as the opening credits que faded and the intro to Who Says You Can’t Go Home began, and Jon bounced onto the stage. His home. Their home. Where it all started. Where he would be tomorrow. Home there with her.  

 

For the next three hours, she watched as he did what he did best. Having fun, shaking his ass, flirting with the crowd. He knew how to work a crowd and the proudness that radiated from that megawatt smile, the one that had been killing girls for the last twenty-seven years.  

 

She also listened, not just to the songs, but the words. Words written for her, for the people and some even for him. Each and every song he selected tonight represented something. For that was the man she fell in love with. Not the rockstar, but the man who poured his heart and soul out into a song. He was telling a story, their story. It took her about an hour to come down from her emotional rollercoaster when her phone went off.

 

[5:15a.m.] Jon: Wheels up, Crash. See you soon. Check your e-mail. ❤

 

My mail? What was he up to now? Closing out one app and entering another, she opened the only email she had. She was a bit confused at the subject line. Did she not just watch the show? Why on earth would he think she would need a setlist? Scrolling through the body of the email, she understood why.

 

To: Ariana Moretti Bongiovi

From: Jon Bongiovi

 

Subject: Setlist

 

Home - is where ever you are and the only one I need.

Follow - I will never ever forget, you follow no one.

Name - The crowd loves it. ;)

In these Arms - All you Crash and where I wish I was right now.

Baby - You and Me baby!!!!!

Older - A good excuse for my actions. Senility?…. kidding.

Going On - What I can only hope we will be doing when I get there… Did you kick my mother out yet?

Raise Your Hands - Because silly, you love it.

Beautiful - I never told you, but I wrote this for you.

Superman - I’ll always be yours

Crash - Our silly love song

Medicine - and you’re mine

Life - Like Frankie said…. Okay, no excuse.

Rule - Self explanatory

Lay your Hands - Eww. Richie sings it. 

Sin/Chapel - Never again will you feel like that

I’ll be there for you - You have my word

Pain - I’m sorry I caused you so much.

Diamond Ring - Don’t ever take yours off

Sleep/JJF - Better get yours. Happy *eye roll*, I played a stones' song

Die for You - In a heartbeat

Work for the working man - Can I have just one song out of this list? ;)

Saturday Night - Self explanatory

Faith - Keep keeping… we got this

Dry County - Because it rocks a stadium like no other

Wanted - We must always play our National Anthem

Prayer - We’ll make it.