1- Destination Anywhere

October 2009

Jon sat behind his desk staring absentmindedly at the city skyline, his mind preoccupied with something other than what he should be doing. 

He was getting that ole antsy feeling again, the one that would stir in the bottom of his gut from being home for more than a few months at a time. Twenty-seven years being on the road would do that to you, he guessed. 

No matter how much he tried, there were times when he couldn’t help but feel like a visitor in his own home.  That wasn’t to say he didn’t love being home with his family.  Of course he did.  He just also happened to love the euphoric rush that came with being on stage. 

The latest album was finished, and so were the tour details for the most part.  There were some promotional spots the band would need to do, but that was down the road.  Jon needed a distraction now. 

He picked up the toy dart gun Romey had left behind in his office, sticking the suction cup dart in the end as a thoughtful gaze shifted from it to the map hanging on the wall.  Did it matter where the distraction was, as long as it eased his restlessness?

Nope.  Not in the least.

Jon impulsively pointed the plastic weapon toward the map, closed his eyes and pulled the trigger.

Decision made.

After adjusting his calendar and notifying those who needed to know his plans, he called Richie.  If anyone could understand what he was feeling, it would be his buddy.  Richie didn’t disappoint, offering his unwavering support as always. 

Disconnecting the call, he pushed his chair back to stand.  There was just one more person to tell.

This was not going to sit well with his wife, but nothing had lately.  For the last couple of years, they seemed to be just going through the motions.  He was busy with his world while she stayed occupied with the kids and her own interests.  She always made sure to let him know where or when the kids had something going on, and Jon always made it a priority to be there because those kids meant everything to him.

A glance at his watch told him it was almost lunchtime.  Knowing that Dorothea would be in the kitchen, he headed that way.   

Turning the corner confirmed that his wife was at the sink, and he took a deep breath.

“Hey Dot, you got a minute?”

“Sure, Jon what's up?”

“I need to head out of town for a few weeks and wanted to let you know.”

She lifted her head and gave him her version of the stink eye.  “Where are you off to now? What is so important that you need to leave again?  Can't you ever sit still?”

“You of all people should know I can't.”

“Foundation business?”

“Umm...no.”

“Does the team need you?”  Jon just shook his head.  “Well, it can't be for the album, you finished that already... right?”

He thought about lying but knew better.  “No, none of that.  I just need to get away.”

She turned her back on him to finish rinsing the cup in her hand.  It seemed like minutes passed before her softly disapproving voice asked, “Who is she this time?”

Jon walked up to put his hands on her shoulders, but she shrugged away before he could touch her.

“C’mon Dot!  Why do you always assume there is someone?  For the record, there isn't anyone, but would it make a difference if there was?” 

The moment the words slipped passed his lips, Jon regretted saying them.  He wasn't looking for an argument.

Nostrils flared she slapped her palms down onto the sink’s edge. “What's that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.  Forget it.”

“How am I supposed to do that?  Listen Jon, if you have something you want to tell me, just tell me.  If not, then go do whatever it is you need to do!”  With that, she waved a hand at him as if to say, “Whatever.”

Not wanting to make things worse, he did as she instructed and left.

♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱

The rest of the day was filled with much of nothing.  What he really wanted was some fresh air and a good run, but midday in New York City made that next to impossible, so he did the next best thing.  A quick change of clothes and he was off to the gym.

His pre-run stretches out of the way, Jon turned up the music and hopped on the treadmill.  To make it a little more interesting, he opted for one of the preprogrammed courses. Setting a slow pace at first, he took in the beautiful New York City skyline. 

What a view!  Who wouldn’t want this?  This is what he used to dream about all those years ago. 

God, he loved this city, but he missed New Jersey. There, he could roam around town; he didn’t have to be a “rockstar.”  He was just Jon.

Funny how the simple things he had tried so hard to change were the things he now longed for. Jon couldn’t help but chuckle when he heard his voice coming through the speakers, asking, “Who Says You Can’t Go Home?” Could it get any more ironic than that? 

He hit the button to change the channel and got back to his run.

With every incline and every mile, his heart raced, thighs burned, and calves ached.  Sweat dripped down his face. His shirt stuck wetly to his back and chest.  

Damn, this was just what he needed.  He hadn’t felt so invigorated in a long time. Eight miles down, two to go.

The last miles went quickly, and he was now into his cool down when he heard the gym door open.  He looked up to see his beautiful baby girl.  Only, she wasn’t a baby anymore.

“Hi Daddy, how are you?”

“Good Princess, just finishing up my run.  You here to work out too?”

“Nah just came to see how you were.  I saw Mom.  She doesn’t look too happy.”

She knew that being the daughter of a rockstar wasn’t always easy.  Never knowing who wanted to be friends with you or just to meet your Dad.  She couldn't even begin to imagine what it was like for her Mom, or how she did it for all these years.

“She’s not too happy with me at the moment.  I'm going out of town again for a bit.”  Jon was well accustomed to his wife’s moods; he had twenty plus years of them.  “She just needs a ‘time-out’ as Romey would say.”

“Whateverrr!  So, then what’s for dinner?”

“How should I know?  Did you ask your mother?”

Stephanie rolled her eyes at her father.  “Duh Dad, yes, she said to ask you and left.” 

With that, she did the same.

The sound of the gym door closing behind her made Jon jump off the treadmill, grab a towel and head upstairs to see what the hell was going on.  He called out for Dorothea as he ran through the apartment, to where he’d last seen her – the kitchen.  There was no answer and no sign of her at the sink, or in any other room of the apartment. 

Where could she have gone? She hadn’t mentioned going out. 

He pulled out his cell phone and dialed his wife, but it went straight to voicemail. 

Dammit Dot, answer the phone! 

He dialed again but still nothing.  She must be really mad.

“Who wants to go get pizza for dinner?”

Rounding up the boys took a few minutes, but soon they were all in a taxi heading to Sal’s.  They could have walked, but he wasn’t that stupid.

The conversations ranged from school, sports, to girls and boys.  They even managed some “not so good manners” courtesy of Romey and Jake.

Dinner went off without any major casualties, and Jon got everyone home in one piece.  Tucking each of his children into bed, he told each of one how much he loved them and that he would be back soon.  He promised to call every night, too.

Opening the door to his own bedroom, he found Dorothea in bed, but she didn’t acknowledge his presence.  Her eyes never lifted from the page as he made his way to the closet to pack.

With his bags ready, minus a few last-minute things he’d add in the morning, he undressed, pulled on a pair of sweats and climbed into bed.  He waited a few minutes before he looked at his wife, turned and went to sleep.

Jon woke to an empty bed as usual, because someone had to get the kids off to school. That fell to Dorothea, and while she handled the morning routine, he showered, grabbed his luggage and headed downstairs. Placing his bags at the front door, he made a detour into the kitchen for a quick cup of coffee while waiting for his car. 

That’s where he found a note on the counter.

Jon,

Just go do whatever it is you need to do.  We’ll be here when you get back.

D

There was a slight pang in his heart as the intercom buzzed to announce the arrival of his car.  He picked up his bags, took one last long look around, and left.

Nestled comfortably in the backseat of the car heading to Teterboro Airport, Jon stared out the window.  Numerous thoughts were running through his head, but one kept repeating itself.

Montreal.  This should be interesting.