13 - Her Tears Like Diamonds

Jon and Ariana laid on the bed, arms and legs entangled in the ethereal afterglow of their lovemaking, the echo of their synchronized heartbeats the only sound to be heard in the darkened room.  Jon’s finger lazily traced circles on her hip, while Ariana rested her head in the crook of his arm. The soothing motions had them drifting, not to sleep but to a blissful state of relaxation.

In a soft whisper, Ariana admitted, “Jon, I’m scared.  For the first time in my life, I’m afraid of tomorrow.  I have never felt this way before. Not even when Daddy died.  I’m afraid to close my eyes at night.  Afraid of what tomorrow will bring.  How am I going to spend every day here – working and living in her house...her bar?  She is everywhere. I see her, smell her...feel her. I miss her so much my heart hurts. Just breathing hurts.”

Jon felt the droplets of tears on his arm and knew she was crying.  He could hear the sadness in her voice but didn’t want to stop her from talking.  She was finally letting it out. She needed to talk, and the pads of callused fingers softly caressed her silky skin, coaxing her to continue.

“What about my job? Do I quit? Maybe take a leave? Do I really know how to take care of a bar?  I spent my whole life traveling around the world, doing what I love. It’s all I know how to do.”

Pushing fallen strands of hair aside, he rested his chin on her shoulder. 

“Ari, it is natural to feel the way you’re feeling. If you didn't, I would worry.  Lili was the only mother you’ve ever known, so it's supposed to hurt. Death is part of life, as is mourning, and you need to mourn.  Keeping it in isn’t healthy. You are a strong, independent woman who needs to let others help you get through this. 

“As for how, just take it one day at a time. If you don't want to quit, just take a leave of absence.  They’ll understand.  You have been with them for a long time.  Hell, your Dad was with them for a long time!  it’s the least they could do.  And if they don't, you can always come work for me.  Better yet, start your own company and work when you want.

“Rome wasn’t built in a day, and these decisions don’t all have to be made right now. Take some time off. You have vacation and personal time, so use it.  Stay here, and if that's uncomfortable, stay at the St. James.

“As for the bar, yes, you know what to do. Maybe not the day to day running, but Max can help you with that.  He’s been doing it for years.” 

Ariana turned so she was facing him, propping herself up on an elbow as her head rested in the palm of her hand.

"I hear everything you’re saying Jon, but I don't know if I could do it.  Not by myself. Montreal has always been where I’d come when I need comforting." She didn't try to hide her tears this time, and she paused to let her knuckle softly brush his cheek. "It’s the first place I would go whenever you’d leave or when I’d have to leave you.  Lili was always here to get me through those times. Who’s going to do that now when you have to leave?”

There.  It was finally out in the open.  

In all the years she and Jon had been together, she never once told him how she felt when they had to leave each other. Keeping her feelings guarded was something she learned to do as a child, when her father would leave to go out on the road.   Looking back, coming to Montreal had always been a distraction for her.

Of course, she was sad about Lili not being here anymore.  She would miss her grandmother terribly, but the old woman had lived a long and healthy life. 

It was being really and truly alone that Ariana feared most.  That was real reason behind her inability to cope.

Jon sat up bringing her to him. “Aww, baby. Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“It never came up.”

“Ari,” he scolded, lightly bumping his forehead against hers.  “We’ve said goodbye a lot of times over the years.  There have been plenty of opportunities to tell me.”

“But I didn’t have a right to feel that way.  Listen, I didn’t tell you tonight to start an argument and certainly not to shower you with guilt.  You opened your heart to me earlier, so I just thought I should do the same.”

 
“Hey.”  He nudged her chin up to find her eyes. “I’m not going anywhere.  Not this time.  When I leave, it won’t be ‘good-bye’; it’ll be ‘see you soon’.  I hope you believe that.”

“I’m trying.” Wiping her tears away with both hands, she managed to give him a half-smile.  “Will you promise something?”

“Anything.”

“Don’t go home and do anything hastily.”

The corners of his mouth turned down in a frown without really answering.  “Will you do something for me?”

“Yes.”

“Trust me.”

♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱ ♱

By the time they dressed and got back downstairs, the bar was packed.  Music and chatter filled the room, and Ariana guided them through the sea of people who were pushing toward the bar. 

As they got closer to the stools where she and Jon had been sitting earlier, Ariana noticed a familiar figure sitting on one of them.  The woman had her back to them, so her face wasn’t visible, but Ari knew who it was.  She would recognize that mane of red hair anywhere.

Ariana rushed forward, calling out over Greenday’s “21 Guns”, “Cara!”

The woman turned when hearing her name, and immediately hopped off the stool.  Pushing through the crowd until the two of them stood face to face for only a second before wrapping their arms around each other and squeezing tightly.

It was Ariana who pulled away first.  “What are you doing here?”

“Seriously? Do you really think that Mighty Mouth Max wouldn’t have told me you were here?  As soon as you set foot through that door, I received a text.  And it’s a good thing he did, because apparently you didn’t think that I would like to see you!” she scolded with a smile in her voice.

“Oh, Cara!  Of course, I want to see you! it’s just … been so crazy.” 

Cara pulled Ariana in for another hug, and this time she didn’t let go as quickly. “I know. Max called and told me about Mamie.  I’ve been waiting for you to call. How are you doing? Really?”

Cleaning his throat Jon motioned them towards the bar. “Why don’t you ladies take a seat?”

“Oh my God.  Jon!  Forgive me.  I didn’t see you standing there.” Cara let go of her friend and pulled Jon in for a hug.

“’S’aright Cara.” He kissed her cheek.  “It’s been a while.  How ya doin’?”

“It sure has.” She nodded at Ari. “I see she found time to call you.”

Jon coughed out a laugh. “Not exactly.”

With fresh beers in front of them, Jon explained to Cara how he ended up in Montreal – including how he had found Ariana.  Needless to say, she was not too happy but promised her friend they would get together to discuss it further. Tonight, was about happier times and remembrance.

The three friends picked-up where Jon, Ari and Max had been before they went upstairs. 

They spent the rest of the evening laughing, drinking and dancing. 

Okay, so the girls danced while Jon watched. There were a select few who recognized Jon and approached him, but they let him be for the most part. 

Until the all-too famous lyrics blared from the jukebox.

 “Shot through the heart and you’re to blame.”

The crowd drowned out the rest of Jon’s recorded lyric, finishing with their own boisterous, “You give love… a bad name!”  

He acknowledged the room with a smile and a wave.  It seemed like a random happening, but if he had to place bets, he was positive Ariana had something to do with it.  The way she and Cara were laughing as they made their way back from the dance floor was a dead giveaway. 

Ariana leaned over him to steal his glass from the bar and quickly gulp what was left. Jon couldn’t help but poke his finger at her exposed belly.  She jumped with surprise that quickly turned to an inebriated grin when he hit her with a stink eye. 

“So ya thought that was funny, did ya, Crash?” 

Green eyes blinked at him with exaggerated innocence.  “I have no idea what you are talking about. Do you, Cara?”

Her friend’s hands flew up in the air. “I’m not getting involved in this. Hey Max, can I have another beer please?”

“Well, my dear, it seems to me your friend here has sold you out.  How do you plead?” Jon chided.

“Your Highness, I plead the Fifth.”

“Your Highness?” Jon spun her around and pulled her into his lap, tickling her as he did. “You will be punished for that one.”

Ariana looked up at him with an arched eyebrow. “Punished? Really?”

“Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he demanded with a laugh as the noise in the room quieted with the change to a softer song.  “Dance with me?”

“You want to dance?”

“I like this song,” he defended himself while lifting her off his lap.  Jon guided Ariana to the dance floor and pulled her close.  Their bodies were pressed as close together as two could be as they swayed to the beat, and he remarked, “It’s good to see you smile.”

Ariana hooked both hands around his neck and turned so that her cheek rested against Jon’s shoulder.  

“It feels good to smile.”

“Oh, my love, my darling

I’ve hungered for your touch

A long, lonely time

And time goes by so slowly

And time can do so much

Are you still mine?

I need your love

I need your love

God speed your love to me!

Lonely rivers flow

To the sea, to the sea

To the open arms of the sea

Lonely rivers sigh

‘Wait for me, wait for me’

I’ll be coming home, wait for me!

Oh, my love, my darling

I’ve hungered, hungered for your touch

A long, lonely time

And time goes by so slowly

And time can do so much

Are you still mine?

I need your love

I need your love

God speed your love to me!”